Boy, I'd like a "clean up and recovery" crew at my house. I'd love to hit some point in the day and blow a whistle, push a button, something, and have some little people come out and sweep up the kitchen, wipe everything down, put away all the toys and turn off everything my kids have left on.
I came into the kitchen sunday evening, and there were plates of mac and cheese, hot chocolate, and corn dogs all over the kitchen table. From Lunch. Typical "daddy style" lunch, and it was left all over the kitchen. Yes. I'd like that button.
An evening at my house is the same as every other house with kids. Screaming for no reason, fighting over the toy they havent played with since it came out of the box, drama over the blue polka-dotted sock thats gone missing, and at least one living body is going to fall down the stairs. Mommy is begging the older ones to get their homework done...and done well, please. After dinner is on the table ("I asked you three times to set the table!!") then its time to eat. At least, every one else eats. Mommy helps Ashley eat, because she likes to launch her food, play with it, and meow rather than eat. Yes, Meow. (Just go with it.)
Meanwhile, Natalie is singing. After dinner, we clean up while Natalie eats. (Because she was singing when everyone else was eating.) Then its SOMEONE clean up the kitchen, SOMEONE load the dishwasher, SOMEONE put away the left overs, and then SOMEONE pick up all the toys. Again. (I hate being "someone.")
Now, we have to catch the two year old. (You cannot believe how fast she is.) Jammies. Brush teeth. t]Throw her in bed. Catch her again. Put her back in bed. Give her a drink of water. Kisses. Bear hugs. (Its always "bear" hugs.) Shut the door. Then she reads books by night light for a few hours.
Natalie tucks herself in, but always comes up half hour later with some dramatic excuse. "I cant sleep, I want to buy a book, I want to go to the Sience Fair..." Lord have mercy, there will come a day I will kill that child. She is my Drama Queen, and she is the worst one at leaving her stuff all over the house. Socks, shoes, homework, jackets. Clutter maker 2.0
I want that button. It would be great. Maybe they could come out with a song and dance routine like in the movies... entertaining the kids, smile on mommys face, fresh flowers, birds and butterflies fluttering around...
Oooh, dreams can be dangerous...
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
2 kids. 4 Drive thrus. 1 Happy meal.
Every friday night my husband and I go out on a date. Or at least, we try to. Its nothing big, and sometimes its something like grabbing a burger on the way to drop off the kids at grandmas.
But hey, at least we are together, right?
A few weeks ago, our friday night was exactly that. I was looking forward to a quiet evening, and didnt think I was going to get much of a weekend because I had to work. We were going to take the kids to grandmas house, 45 minutes away, and I didnt see why I had to endure the late night drive with the kids. We both got home late, we both needed to shower from work, and then the kids had to be packed and fed. I was thinking - "hey, I'll get them ready, send them off, THEN I will shower and go to bed, glorious bed."
But my husband didnt want to play the "long drive with hungry tired kids by myself" game.
Dang.
So I join them Soon the question arose "What are we feeding them?"
Man, I always forget those things need to eat. I'd just as soon toss some feed in the back seat and hope they all get equal share, but I hate to make a mess in my car.
"Hamburgers. They are having hamburgers. Doesn't that sound nice? Everyone wants a hamburger, right?" As an experienced mom, I know you don't give options. You just make the decision for them and then convince them it was thier choice. They will live, and its much easier to stop at one drive thru and place your order when you play this game. Im also grumpy and tired. When mom is grumpy, you really should know better that to argue.
"Mac-e-oni!" Of course. Ashley has to offer an alternative. Suddenly Jason is conviced that we can do this, there is a KFC/Taco Bell and hes pretty sure they have mac and cheese. Im telling him not to play this game. Hes trying to convince the 6 year old that she loves Tacos. I keep telling him, Hamburgers. Dont play this game. Get them all hamburgers. Please for the love of moms everywhere. I should be home in the shower. Or in bed. Not here having this conversation. Jerk.
And so it starts.
Drive thru #1: KFC/Taco Bell. Jason asks if they have Mac and cheese, the entire reason we are here. No. They dont. Oh snap. And out we go.
Down and across the street...
Drive thru #2: McDonalds. Hey, you just spent half an hour convincing a 6 year old that she wants a taco! Screw hamburgers! She wants a taco, dangit! Meanwhile, the two year old is going "Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger..." Gee, I wonder what she wants? So, we order 1 hamburger happy meal. It comes in a red box with a smile on it. (normaly comes in a bag. huh, thats different.) Oh well, the 6 year old said taco, so, back we go, to the drive thru that we just awkwardly abandoned.
Drive thru #3: KFC/Taco Bell. yes, we'll take a...wait, now why is Natalie crying? oh, she doesnt want a taco any more, she wants a box with a smile on it. Now, guess what? She wants a... wait for it.... a HAMBURGER. Thats right. And so KFC/Taco Bell is abandoned again. We wave at the drive thru window this time. Sorry guys.
This is the point my grumpy mood breaks into hysterical laughter.
Back down and across the street...
Drive thru #4: McDonalds. Yes. we want another one. Ignore the laughing woman in the front seat and gimmie another HAMBURGER. In a friggin BOX that SMILES. Its Dang near 9 and night and we still have to deliver the kids and let them eat before we can go to ANOTHER drive thru for ourselves.
Your mental question is noted. Im not going to answer. Thank you and good night.
you see? Mom said WHAT at the outset? Hamburgers. Get them Hamburgers. And yet, we had to do it in such a complicated way...
After finally dropping off the kids at Grandmas and watching them start on the meals that may or may not have been getting cold, we are able to stop at another little grill ourselves and enjoy....
yes. Hamburgers. :)
Any meal where I get to say "I told you so..." I think thats a happy meal myself.
But hey, at least we are together, right?
A few weeks ago, our friday night was exactly that. I was looking forward to a quiet evening, and didnt think I was going to get much of a weekend because I had to work. We were going to take the kids to grandmas house, 45 minutes away, and I didnt see why I had to endure the late night drive with the kids. We both got home late, we both needed to shower from work, and then the kids had to be packed and fed. I was thinking - "hey, I'll get them ready, send them off, THEN I will shower and go to bed, glorious bed."
But my husband didnt want to play the "long drive with hungry tired kids by myself" game.
Dang.
So I join them Soon the question arose "What are we feeding them?"
Man, I always forget those things need to eat. I'd just as soon toss some feed in the back seat and hope they all get equal share, but I hate to make a mess in my car.
"Hamburgers. They are having hamburgers. Doesn't that sound nice? Everyone wants a hamburger, right?" As an experienced mom, I know you don't give options. You just make the decision for them and then convince them it was thier choice. They will live, and its much easier to stop at one drive thru and place your order when you play this game. Im also grumpy and tired. When mom is grumpy, you really should know better that to argue.
"Mac-e-oni!" Of course. Ashley has to offer an alternative. Suddenly Jason is conviced that we can do this, there is a KFC/Taco Bell and hes pretty sure they have mac and cheese. Im telling him not to play this game. Hes trying to convince the 6 year old that she loves Tacos. I keep telling him, Hamburgers. Dont play this game. Get them all hamburgers. Please for the love of moms everywhere. I should be home in the shower. Or in bed. Not here having this conversation. Jerk.
And so it starts.
Drive thru #1: KFC/Taco Bell. Jason asks if they have Mac and cheese, the entire reason we are here. No. They dont. Oh snap. And out we go.
Down and across the street...
Drive thru #2: McDonalds. Hey, you just spent half an hour convincing a 6 year old that she wants a taco! Screw hamburgers! She wants a taco, dangit! Meanwhile, the two year old is going "Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger, hamburger..." Gee, I wonder what she wants? So, we order 1 hamburger happy meal. It comes in a red box with a smile on it. (normaly comes in a bag. huh, thats different.) Oh well, the 6 year old said taco, so, back we go, to the drive thru that we just awkwardly abandoned.
Drive thru #3: KFC/Taco Bell. yes, we'll take a...wait, now why is Natalie crying? oh, she doesnt want a taco any more, she wants a box with a smile on it. Now, guess what? She wants a... wait for it.... a HAMBURGER. Thats right. And so KFC/Taco Bell is abandoned again. We wave at the drive thru window this time. Sorry guys.
This is the point my grumpy mood breaks into hysterical laughter.
Back down and across the street...
Drive thru #4: McDonalds. Yes. we want another one. Ignore the laughing woman in the front seat and gimmie another HAMBURGER. In a friggin BOX that SMILES. Its Dang near 9 and night and we still have to deliver the kids and let them eat before we can go to ANOTHER drive thru for ourselves.
Your mental question is noted. Im not going to answer. Thank you and good night.
you see? Mom said WHAT at the outset? Hamburgers. Get them Hamburgers. And yet, we had to do it in such a complicated way...
After finally dropping off the kids at Grandmas and watching them start on the meals that may or may not have been getting cold, we are able to stop at another little grill ourselves and enjoy....
yes. Hamburgers. :)
Any meal where I get to say "I told you so..." I think thats a happy meal myself.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
waiting for chocolate
At work we have been talking about the study that measured a childs ability to delay gratification, where a child was presented with a cookie or a marshmallow, and told "If you wait until I come back, you can have two." Most children could not wait, I guess, but those that could were interviewed many years later and turns out they are more successful adults. Although some of the greedy kids are also successful as well.
Of course, I ran home and presented Natalie with a Chocolate.
"Want a Chocolate?" I hold one out to her.
"Sure!" Natalie takes the chocolate from me.
"Okay, well, if you wait until later, I will give you two."
"Okay!" She hands me back the chocolate. Wait, this was too easy! Shes supposed to be tormented by the decision, staring at the chocolates in agony for the rest of the afternoon!
"Ummm, I'm just going to leave the chocolates right here and you can either eat one whenever you want, or you can have two later. okay?"
"yeah, whatever mom."
-Enter Ashley. "ooh, Chocolates! Yum!" Before I can react, She grabs them both up and eats them both.
Oookay, so Its safe to say that I failed performing that study. And Natalie is going to be a successful adult, right? and Ashley is just too young to count, right?
The answer is yes. Good answer.
I'm going to go eat some chocolate now. But I don't eat it for the chocolate. I eat it because I like to read the "Dove Promises."
Really.
I like to read.
Of course, I ran home and presented Natalie with a Chocolate.
"Want a Chocolate?" I hold one out to her.
"Sure!" Natalie takes the chocolate from me.
"Okay, well, if you wait until later, I will give you two."
"Okay!" She hands me back the chocolate. Wait, this was too easy! Shes supposed to be tormented by the decision, staring at the chocolates in agony for the rest of the afternoon!
"Ummm, I'm just going to leave the chocolates right here and you can either eat one whenever you want, or you can have two later. okay?"
"yeah, whatever mom."
-Enter Ashley. "ooh, Chocolates! Yum!" Before I can react, She grabs them both up and eats them both.
Oookay, so Its safe to say that I failed performing that study. And Natalie is going to be a successful adult, right? and Ashley is just too young to count, right?
The answer is yes. Good answer.
I'm going to go eat some chocolate now. But I don't eat it for the chocolate. I eat it because I like to read the "Dove Promises."
Really.
I like to read.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
sweet nothins
You know you're settled in the "married with kids" section of life when your honey leans over and whispers sweet nothings into your ear... and they sound something like this...
"Want to put on Mikey Mouse Clubhouse and let the kids watch TV for a while?" wink wink. ;)
oooh baby.
Well life sure is busy. Between work, work, and work, I barely have time to get to know these short people living in my house. And what is really bad is they have my sense of humor. It pops through every once in a while. Its weird to recognize your own traits in your children. But theres little doubt that Natalie rubbing Hersheys Kisses on her bottom in my general direction is not one of my direct influences. Or Ashley reading books by nightlight. Jorden begging for rotten music and horrible haircuts.
I hope to capture some of their antics, some of their daily nothings that I miss all too often. Maybe in doing so I will be able to capture a bit of myself as well. Who knows? Probably a bit too much of myself. There usually is, Im told.
It will be difficult, perhaps impossible. But I dont like the easy road. :)
"Want to put on Mikey Mouse Clubhouse and let the kids watch TV for a while?" wink wink. ;)
oooh baby.
Well life sure is busy. Between work, work, and work, I barely have time to get to know these short people living in my house. And what is really bad is they have my sense of humor. It pops through every once in a while. Its weird to recognize your own traits in your children. But theres little doubt that Natalie rubbing Hersheys Kisses on her bottom in my general direction is not one of my direct influences. Or Ashley reading books by nightlight. Jorden begging for rotten music and horrible haircuts.
I hope to capture some of their antics, some of their daily nothings that I miss all too often. Maybe in doing so I will be able to capture a bit of myself as well. Who knows? Probably a bit too much of myself. There usually is, Im told.
It will be difficult, perhaps impossible. But I dont like the easy road. :)
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